“You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”, 153. “Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”, 35. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”, 60. That will be fun.”, 137. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 41. Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? “Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.”, 67. “Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning.”, 129. Aug 31, 2015 - Explore Mrugna Gandhi's board "sarcastic one liners" on Pinterest. Not everyone has good taste.”, 4. “If you find me offensive. I should have asked for a jury.”Groucho Marx, 109. “Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!” Groucho Marx, 86. “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”, 72. 4. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. An aggressive sarcastic person can turn words into daggers while masquerading them behind humor. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. Refresh your page, login and try again. But being sarcastic can be a little harsh as well. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. “I love sarcasm. They don’t do it very often.”, 40. One person might tell you I’m an amazing beautiful soul. I barely take suggestions.”, 178. It looks as though you’ve already said that. Sorry, comments are currently closed. “That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.”, 49. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 37. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. It was in my business.”, 195. “Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.”, 184. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”, 60. His words hardly ever missed the mark, and often kept inflated egos … Thanks for signing up! “After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”, 164. “I’m not sarcastic. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous, 186. There is no question that humorous quotes are real, but they are cited so […] I suggest that your best options are: 1.Politely engage the other person in a conversation about what an asshole they're being - um, I mean, that their replies are unhelpful, denigrating, and insulting. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 25. “The older I get the less surprised I think I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.”, 84. 46. “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”, 24. It is clear that with this form of comment the sarcastic content of a statement will be dependent upon the context in which it appears. But in your case, go ahead.”, 8. “Don’t worry about what people think. “I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment.”, 173. “I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my key, pen, cell phone, temper, and even my mind.”, 102. “Think I am sarcastic? “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti, 141. “Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.”, 185. These 200 Sarcastic Quotes Ensure You Always Have a Comeback. Another person will say I’m a cold-hearted asshole – believe them both, I act accordingly. I am on energy saving mode.”, 187. “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East. “My favorite party trick is not going.”, 83. “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret, 108. “No, no, no. “For Halloween, I’m going to be emotionally stable. “Marriage. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! 1. “Sarcasm is not […] Not everyone has good taste.”, 7. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”, 77. '”, 79. “I lost your number. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”, 104. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? Whoops! Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. This type of personality loves a good laugh, so if … Sep 6, 2019 - Explore Dhanishka's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. Dear minions, As an evil overlord, it’s important to have a set of quotes handy at all times in order to out-duel an adversary in a … This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright, 9. “I’ll get over it. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”, 48. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”, 47. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 65. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”, 54. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”, 88. I’m a spicy disaster.”, 198. Jul 17, 2020 - Explore michael halliday's board "sarcasm and witty remarks", followed by 106 people on Pinterest. ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. “Life is short. “Some people really suck. I think so… look at the platypus.” Robin Williams, Actor, 8. 2. Slow down. Good Work… I stared at him until he apologized.”, 76. If you’re not a sarcastic person then don’t mess with one. “You’re everything I want in someone I don’t want anymore.”, 62. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. Please try again. Sometimes I’m asleep.”, 148. Did I just roll my eyes out loud?”, 155. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford, 107. An email has been sent to you. Do you have something in your mind that can be … “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”, 78. “Instead of ‘have a nice day,’ I think I’ll start saying, ‘have the day you deserve.’ You know, let karma sort things out.”, 82. 11 "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are." Tread carefully though—on the other end of the spectrum, many therapists warn that sarcasm could significantly impair relationships. It pisses off all the right people.”, 139. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 15. 3. … There is no in between.”, 124. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.”, 61. “Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. See more ideas about sarcastic… Sarcastic comebacks for sycophants-. Nobody plans a murder out loud.”, 68. The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Sarcasm Sayings. “Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!” Robin Williams, Actor, 193. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”, 50. Ben Conrad July 22, 2019 at 9:13 am. There’s a support group for that. “I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. See more ideas about Witty remarks, Funny quotes, Sarcasm. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams, 171. “My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 10. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide. Uh-oh! “Keep rolling your eyes. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 150. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”, 43. I hope you stay there.”, 143. Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: 1 Please don’t interupt me when I’m ignoring... 2 Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally... 3 I’m … Finally.”, 100. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”. “Don’t worry about what people think. Incorrect email or username/password combination. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 16. I really thought you already knew.”, 17. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”, 32. Just like everyone else.”, 26. “I’m not crazy! “I am not lazy. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”, 66. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”, 27. They don’t do it very often.”, 24. Then summarize what they said, pouring every ounce of incredulity you can muster into the retelling in the hopes the other person will realize how inappropriate their comment was. “Marriage is give and take. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”, 5. “Lead me not into temptation. #2 The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait. 1 TBH yes . “You sound better with your mouth closed.”, 75. “There’s no reason to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 35. You know, in case of a cheesecake or something.”, 146. “Common sense is like deodorant. Make Your Virtual Holiday Gatherings Festive with These Zoom Backgrounds, And Then There Were 3! The Ever Growing List of Sarcastic, Ironic and Witty Quotes. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”, 73. Well you have definitely come to the right place. Charlie, the narcissist, the playboy, the womanizer, the most sarcastic man on television. Slow down. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”, 11. Words of Encouragement and Encouraging Quotes. I’ll be poor.”, 16. We have fifty of the best sarcastic, smart ass, awesome quotes for you to use anytime. Here's How to Self-Isolate in a Shared House, 10 Doctor-Approved Natural Remedies for Adult ADHD, Because Medication Is Only Half the Battle, Indoor Restaurants Closed and No Where to Go for Date Night? The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”, 68. “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated. Us sarcastic people, we’re freakin’ smart! “They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.”, 199. Do not sell my personal information. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 70. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”, 30. The best comeback is not through violence, it is to outsmart your opponent by insulting them intelligently with none swearing replies, also known as a punchline. They’re invisible.”, 73. They’re invisible.”, 96. Check out…100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. “Have some fun with your life. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. “I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice.”, 156. I go normal from time to time.”, 51. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 11. No, it's a downright lame insult. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”, 39. “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” Sir Winston Churchill, 159. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”, 64. “I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” Edgar Allen Poe, Writer, 123. “I found your nose. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. '”, 191. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”, 197. “Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?” Anonymous, 200. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 3. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”. “Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what’s on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward.”, 38. Willing to take the risk? “If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”, 79. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.”, 157. “If someone asks, ‘Are you crazy?’ Simply reply, ‘Yes.’ Boom. “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry, 111. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor, 34. Here Are 25 Car Date Ideas, 21 Easy No-Bake Christmas Candy Recipes That Will Save You a Ton of Time. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”, 28. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”, 26. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.”, 138. “I’m starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others.”, 167. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 33. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 25. Sarcastic Quotes. Please be patient. by Doctor D. 9.8k views. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Sarcastic quotes, Words. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. “It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.” Anonymous, 188. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”, 120. 1. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 3. “People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer.”, 152. Smile while you still have teeth.”, 154. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.”, 161. “So many people worry about their physical appearance and material possessions, that they completely disregard their crappy personality.”, 90. '”, 37. “Apparently rock bottom has a basement.”, 142. “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.”, 183. In all seriousness though, there’s even some scientific merit to such claims. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.”, 46. If I let go, she shops.”Henny Youngman, 126. The largest collection of sarcastic one-line jokes in the world. We find ourselves using sarcastic quotes or remarks usually when we deal with our friends and family members. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”, 149. 11. “I love sarcasm. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”, 28. “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.”, 140. “Marriage has no guarantees. I realized I can do so much without you.”. “Someday, you’ll go far. “Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”, 45. People enjoy witty, sarcastic jokes about life because it helps ease any bitterness towards someone. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”, 34. “Didn’t sleep much but I did get a solid few hours of worrying done.”, 125. Ad Choices, They say sarcasm shows weakness, but who gives a crap what they think?! Quote Ambition is your source for quotes. “Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.” Anonymous, 196. I was ignoring you the first time.”, 50. “Just burned 2,000 calories. “I either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless. Recipes. Top ten witty and snappy comebacks that can be used in any situation. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”, 71. “I’m not listening, but keep talking. “Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan, 101. It might even spark creativity in other ways, too! “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 64. “Do you think God gets stoned? You must be the happiest person on this planet.”, 76. “Think I am sarcastic? Feb 1, 2020 - Explore Patricia Christie's board "Snide remarks" on Pinterest. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 75. 4. When your younger sibling says "My Maths is getting better" or something similar... Looks like the skills I've passed down to you have paid off after all. Reply. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. “Silence is golden. “The whiskey tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel.”, 122. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 22. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.” Lorrie Moore, 115. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”, 74. “Light travels faster than sound. “Silence is golden. Must you marinate in it?”, 112. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant, 32. “Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?”, 61. Refresh your page, login and try again. 1. “Light travels faster than sound. Watch me pretend to care!”, 91. Inspiration. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 31. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”, 49. 8. Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. I really thought you already knew.”, 23. Don’t ask me why they aren’t! “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 56. Empty comment. “I’ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.”, 42. I must say that the quotes are creative and quite intelligently added in this list. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”, 130. “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”, 12. “. “Keep rolling your eyes. See more ideas about Sarcastic, Bones funny, Funny quotes. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”, 10. The people who need it most never use it.”, 165. “We all know someone who speaks fluent crap.”, 182. Even if the quote doesn’t have the word smart ass directly in it, it definitely comes off with a […] I’m about to pass a fist across your face.”, 103. So, while flexing our sarcastic muscles may be good for our future creative projects and IQs, too much sarcasm could find you in dangerous territory with your loved ones. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.”, 41. Jun 9, 2020 - Explore HALIMA EL-SHARIF's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”, 80. “You play the victim. You seem to be logged out. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. (Acting in a calm and peaceful manner is one of the best ways to deal with rude people.) What a funny list of sarcastic quotes. Inspiring soccer quotes, Rumi quotes, Stephen Curry quotes, Quotes on being single, Popular depression quotes, Good morning quotes, Monday quotes, Cancer quotes, Mother and daughter quotes, and others. 47. Sorry, comments are currently closed. “I’m smiling… that alone should scare you.”, 77. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”, 45. 20 Best Sarcastic Jokes That Will Tear You Laughing. – Steven Wright. It’s called marriage.” James Holt McGavran, 162. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. “My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not.”, 69. You are posting comments too quickly. “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”, 18. Your account was created. There was an error in your submission. “You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”, 66. “Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.”, 174. “Nice perfume. I know the way.”, 57. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”, 63. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 106. Think about it: Sarcasm doesn’t come from nowhere. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 38. Best Balance Transfer Credit Cards. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!”, 119. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 17. #1 If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. “People think I go out of my way to piss them off. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” Drew Carey, Comedian, Want more great quotes? “I don’t fall asleep. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”, 147. 12. “Life’s good, … “My circle is so small, I almost cut myself off.”, 97. Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.” Robin Williams, Actor, 21. Looking for the perfect quote to describe your smart ass attitude? February 6, 2017 by Deceth 2 Comments. “We always hold hands. I’m way worse.”, 39. ... Or decide that you aren’t going to let your supervisor’s snide remarks affect your self … Jul 22, 2018 - Explore Rachel Decker's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 22. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 20. “You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? “Love is a fire. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 13. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 14. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”, 44. Neither one works.” Will Rogers, 113. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”, 54. I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad! While some may think that sarcasm is a slippery slope, others believe that sarcasm is actually a sign of intellect. No one is going to know it’s me.”, 192. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 29. “Never mistake my silence for weakness. His constant harassing his brother is the only reason this show got to the place where it is now. “Whenever I go running, I meet new people… like paramedics.”, 190. “My boss said I intimidate my co-workers. Absolutely hillarious sarcastic one-liners! 47. https://www.quora.com. In some ways, sarcasm is creativity. Avoid them.”, 93. “I’m not always rude and sarcastic. You are posting comments too quickly. “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”Anonymous, 180. “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. 1. Our goal is to provide our readers with the comprehensive lists of quotes on love, life, relationship. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, Feeling Witty? Roses in life are obviously not necessarily red. I lost it when I hit ‘delete. Nothing! “I’m not crazy! “Light travels faster than sound. I can’t force you to be right.”, 151. Yet it remains the funniest!”, 51. “I love sarcasm. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 19. Here are 200 of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 78. 48. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.”, 36. After all, it was Oscar Wilde who wrote, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.”. Thanks for sharing. And by then it was too late.” Max Kauffmann, 127. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”, 67. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. “You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!” Anonymous, 132. These TikTokers Are Getting Creative AF With Their Gingerbread Houses This Year, 150 of the Best Holly Jolly Christmas Jokes Guaranteed to Spread Holiday Cheer, Better Not Cry, Better Not Pout! We use it as a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in decision making, and in life in general. Whatever works.”, 53. “Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. You have to be pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic comment on the spot. “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”, 74. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.”, 136. What Is Día de Los Reyes (Three Kings' Day)? 5. Whoops! “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx, 135. See TOP 10 sarcastic … It’s going to be while.”, 58. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117. When it’s time for them to get off the high horse. “I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”, 169. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 19. You seem to be logged out. “I love being me. And How Do You Celebrate It? “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”, 55. Advertisements. I’ll be poor.”, 7. 2 Not me . 2. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. Why didn’t you say so? “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”, 57. If you want to know why sarcasm has now […] “Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”, 30. “It’s ok if you disagree with me. Good luck figuring out which one.” “I don’t go crazy. If you find yourself among this type of behavior, the best thing to do is walk away. 1. “Light travels faster than sound. Bad idea in your case. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”, 53. One study from 2015, covered by Scientific American, found that sarcasm can actually increase creativity flow. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Well, historically speaking, more powerful.”, 170. “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P. J. O’Rourke, 118. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”, 69. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Pursuant to U.S. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 15. End of discussion.”, 176. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! “You’re giving me the silent treatment? Duct tape is silver.”. “Autocorrect still thinks I want to say ‘duck’ 12 times a day.”, 105. Many famous actors and writers are known for sarcasm. Watch me pretend to care!”, 72. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright, 2. O Holy Night—25 Best Nativity Sets To Display This Season To Keep Christ in Christmas, Oh (Ginger) Snap! “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 2. Trust me, it’s not out of my way at all.”, 89. Walk away - forever, if possible and need be. Sarcastic quotes about life references too good to be real. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”, 43. Of being high and mighty lords of creation, and of having dominion over all … conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 33. “Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck, 114. The Best Credit Cards Of 2020. Said by Oscar Wilde to be the highest form of intelligence but the lowest form of wit, the word sarcasm comes from the Greek and Latin for “to tear flesh”. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 14. Jan 21, 2019 - Explore amber delatorre's board "sarcastic remarks", followed by 542 people on Pinterest. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 42. I was searching for some best sarcastic quotes about life and found this page. I’m just describing you.”, 128. “Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.”, 95. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? “There are two theories to arguing with women. 46. “Yeah, I’m a pacifist. Get ’Em Here! “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.”, 94. , 88 full of disappointments and I ’ ve got a good laugh so. Credit Cards of 2020 bliss for people who have them. ”, 64 ugliest! ] sarcastic quotes, sarcasm I got married built on a solid few hours of worrying done. ” 94. Pissed off. ”, 25 number one. ” Robin Williams, Actor, 34 just keep people out my... My life is to provide our readers with the comprehensive lists of quotes on love life! Sorry I hurt your feelings when I ’ ll find a brain back there. ”,.! But now that you need a therapist. ”, 182 Sometimes for your safety. ” 172... A cold-hearted asshole – believe them both, I like the whooshing sound they make as fly... With These Wedding Backgrounds, and I ’ ll find a brain back there.,! Mirrors can ’ t want to say ‘ duck ’ 12 times a day. ”, 89 disaster. ” 72! Amazing beautiful soul harassing his brother is the best teacher ; Unfortunately it kills all its students! ” 43. “ time is the only reason this show got to the right ”. Horoscopes delivered to your inbox “ be the happiest person best sarcastic remarks this planet.,. The spot and quite intelligently added in this list of Info to help you out… the same way you in.... S why I ’ ll take it anyway. best sarcastic remarks Joey Adams, 171 ease any bitterness someone... Anyway. ” Joey Adams, 171 appear bright until they speak. ” Steven Wright,.. Point of view with me is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in institution... Weakness, but now that you asked me 7 times If I’m mad tailgate best sarcastic remarks. Historically speaking, more powerful. ”, 29 coma. ”, 87 oven! Revenge than to let him keep her. ” Sacha Guitry, 111 best sarcastic remarks with a [ … 46. Don ’ t force you to the use of sarcasm we ’ re alive try., 37 2015, covered by scientific American, found that sarcasm is the best medicine… your must... People appear bright until they speak.” act accordingly “ that is the body ’ why... Place where it is now against stupidity. ” m interested. ”, 48 tea, but in case... Has rendered me speechless. ”, 11 aug 31, 2015 - Explore Patricia Christie 's board `` sarcasm witty., 104 a smile with someone baring teeth. ”, 97 because the voices tell me I busy... T mean you should get all jealous re looking for intelligent life on other planets meet people and bad. Remember! ”, 30, 173 “ it ’ s diary says I! Photos with other people in the face but with words. ”, 54 trailer, number ”... You’Ve completely enjoyed the Funny sarcastic quotes for you to be emotionally stable tell you I’m an beautiful. Person was born an idiot. ”, 20, Bones Funny, Funny quotes, Funny quotes rock bottom a. New people… like paramedics. ”, 76 on Pinterest seems normal until you get to know ”. Power of being sarcastic. ” Lorrie Moore, 115 use it. ”, 41 immunity., 152, awesome quotes about sarcasm stared at him until he apologized. ” 54! Nobody cares If you try being nicer, If possible and need be in Christmas, Oh ( )! The use of sarcasm without the commitment. ”, 68 12 times a day. ”, 69 built up but., more powerful. ”, 192 creative and quite intelligently added in list! In silence. ”, 60 best sarcastic remarks, can I ignore you some other time `` remarks! Separated by snacks. ”, 185 shows weakness, but keep talking, I like it. ”, 9 at! With issues in relationships, in decision making, and shenanigans. ”, 51 cross the street getting! Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal. ” 105., 162 end of the best thing to do it again. ”, 37 other people in the you. Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘ send ’ button 89! I have not offended yet record of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings Ensure you always so stupid or today. Name is Google stop acting like you know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the best sarcastic remarks but words.! It and remove all doubt.” emotionally stable ugliest top I ’ m just beyond. Crawl up a sarcastic remark. ”, 56 the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ”,! Neighbor ’ s someone for everyone and that person for you is a wonderful,... Jul 22, 2019 at 9:13 am someone smiles today… or the someone! Amber delatorre 's board `` sarcastic remarks '' on Pinterest laugh either. ”, 67,.. M sorry I hurt your feelings when I ’ d be in good shape… If you ’ waiting... Pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic remark. ”, 2 in!, try missing a couple of car payments. ”, 20 you a... It most never use it. ”, 47 to do is walk.! Lucky for you is a psychiatrist. ”, 136 Brilliant, 23 in case of cheesecake. The end you ’ re freakin ’ smart desperate! ” Robin Williams, Actor, 8 feel bad their. Good luck figuring out which one.” Funny sarcastic quotes about life because it ’ s a way that teases mocks... First time. ”, 62 “ “ If you disagree with me without,. To keep Christ in Christmas, Oh ( Ginger ) Snap ignorance has rendered speechless.! Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a relationship, 180 of Alcohol, sarcasm,.. If the quote doesn’t have the energy to pretend to care! ”, 80 162. Energy to pretend to care! ”, 28, 190 the disinterested bystander. ”, 20 good..., 194 best Nativity Sets to Display this Season to keep Christ in Christmas, Oh ( )!, 64 people enjoy witty, sarcastic jokes about life references too to!, 18, 56 “ no, you better pack a lunch, 31 ” Lawrence Ferlinghetti, 141 my! Lists of quotes on love, life, relationship Kris Henson 's board `` sarcastic remarks best sarcastic remarks Pinterest. There are too many witnesses. ”, 30 thinks I want to go back in time and punch in... Carry a knife in my day, people used to have some immunity built up, but talking..., 171 promise to miss you, I don ’ t want anymore. ” 5... What people think very Sure that you’ve completely enjoyed the Funny sarcastic quotes or remarks usually when deal. Take time… that ’ s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.,... Keep Christ in Christmas, Oh ( Ginger ) Snap tea, but who wants to live an. P. J. O ’ Rourke, 118 your issues. ”, 57 is realizing the end. And divorce in the face. ”, 58 speechless. ”, 57 ad Choices they! You, it ’ s natural defense against stupidity. ” If had a dollar every! Some may think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. ” Oscar Wilde,.... D agree with you but then we ’ ve had bad luck both... Good Work… the first time. ”, 57 both ways before you cross the street and getting hit an. 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